Ain’t no thang but a cauliflower “wang”

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First of all I think I’ve got some ‘splainin’ to do. I’ve been away from the blog for months and for that I must apologize.  I’m not going to go into too much boring detail. I’m not asking for sympathy. I just think I owe you an explanation.  I’ve been searching for help. Help with what you ask?  Pain. I’ve had fibromyalgia and arthritis for a few years now. First my internist told me no doctor would treat this. They’d just tell me to exercise. I went home after that appointment and cried my eyes out.  How could a doctor say that to patient?  After numerous blood tests and X-rays, I was finally referred to a rheumatologist.  It’s been a year and a half of injections and medicine after medicine. I was put on prednisone. It was a miracle!  …For two months. One thing that I wasn’t warned about is weight gain. OH MY GOLLY!  Fifty, yes 5-0, pounds. I finally called the rheumatologist and begged to be taken off of it. I’ve been on Celebrex for about 3 months now. It takes the edge off and makes the pain mostly tolerable. Guess what one of its side effects is?  Weight gain. What the hay hay?  Needless to say, I haven’t been doing a whole lot in the kitchen.  I just wanted you to know that I haven’t abandoned the blog or dropped off the face of the Earth. I do have some interesting recipes that I’d like to share with you. 

Let’s start with these cauliflower “wings”. I had this big, beautiful head of cauliflower that I bought with which to make crescent veggie pizza. I didn’t use much so I pondered over what to do with the rest of it. Then it hit me. Do unto the cauliflower what you would do unto a boneless wing. Bread and fry that stuff into deliciousness. Eat it plain with a sprinkle of salt, envelop it in a sauce or dip it in a condiment. Any way you do it, you’re going to love, love, love it. I put bottled Panda Express orange sauce on some, Sweet Baby Ray’s honey BBQ sauce on some and left some plain to dip in ranch dressing and sriracha mayo.  Happy lunch to me!  


I think you should make some right meow. Grab your apron (because flour; you know what I mean) and let’s get started. 

Cauliflower “wings”

1 large head of cauliflower

3/4 cup all-purpose flour, divided

2 large eggs, beaten with 1 tsp. cold water

1/2 cup panko bread crumbs

1 tsp.  Kosher salt

1 tsp. pepper

1 tsp. smoked paprika 

1 tsp. garlic powder

1 tsp. onion powder

1 tsp. freeze dried oregano 

1/8 tsp. cayenne pepper (or more if you like heat)

Vegetable oil for frying

Optional: your favorite sauces and condiments such as orange sauce, BBQ sauce, hot wing sauce, honey mustard, ranch dressing and sriracha mayo. 

Core and cut the cauliflower into pieces, 2-3 bite size.  Rinse well under cold water. Pat dry with a dish towel or paper towel. Place cauliflower into a gallon zip top bag. Pour in 1/4 cup of the flower. Zip the top of the bag and shake until the cauliflower is coated. Pour the egg/water mixture into the bag, zip it securely, and shake to coat each flowerette. Set aside.  Combine the remaining 1/2 cup of flour with the panko bread crumbs and spices in a medium sized bowl. Mix well. Set aside. Pour oil into a medium sized pan until it’s 1 1-2 – 2 inches deep up the side of the pan. My stove has this range HI, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, LO. I heat the oil between 8 and 9. Heat oil until it bubbles when a drop off water bubbles in it. While oil is heating, take 1 flowerette at a time and coat it with the breading mixture. Shake off the excess. Add the breaded flowerettes to the hot oil. Don’t crowd them. You want them to get nicely golden brown. Turn them over after 3-4 minutes or golden brown. Repeat on the other side. Remove to a serving plate lined with paper towels. Continue until all are fried.  Sprinkle lightly with salt. Toss in warmed orange sauce or BBQ sauce, if desired. Dip in your favorite condiments.  Enjoy!

Wishing you love, laughter and cake,

Glenda

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About glendaclark

Hi there! My name is Glenda and I love food. Cooking and baking are my creative outlets. You'll find me in the kitchen laughing, singing, dancing and cooking or baking. I'm wife to my green eyed Irish guy, mother of four and grandmother of four. These are the chronicles of life as Glenda, the good witch of cake. Warning: may contain cartoon moments, butter and sugar.

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